Pre-race Saturday and I am a hurting unit! Self-inflicted but with no regrets!
Undoubtedly the most nerve wracking lead up to a night out with the girls I have ever experienced. Seven vodka sodas with dinner to try to calm the Hell down and relax. Anticipatory anxiety? Why?
Jays game has everyone buzzing and connecting. It reminded me of Shawville a bit. Clearly a community of people gathered and enjoying each others’ company supporting, encouraging, nudging – connecting. Breathe. It’s a good place. Good people. Good fun.
I haven’t had a night out like that in years. There’s the girl I’ve been missing. The pieces of my twenty something self re-emerging. Fun, laughter, dancing. Just being me. Being light. No one sending me night ruining texts and no worries of what shitstorm is to come because I chose time with friends over someone else’s ego. That doesn’t exist anymore – it will never be my reality again. It feels good. I need that kinda fun in my life. I want it. With my bestie like old times and we’re hurting today for it but it was worth it! Sooooo worth it!!!
I have lived for 5 years without being fully alive. Numb. Surviving. “Floating”. It’s good to feel and have pure fun! Thank God for friends new and old! I love you weirdos, I truly do. xoxo
Tomorrow my godson and son will hand me my tushy at the finish line. But I’m going to cross it with high fives from people I love dearly and some I have missed terribly. I’ve rattled me brains for the weekend now bring on Rattle Me Bones 10K Wishbone. #Bam! This run is for renewal.
I’m gonna try to kill it for you T! Damn vertigo!!!