I just walked a corridor where I could hear whistling around the corner. It’s Friday. Most people are smiling and whistling. I have been whistling in my cubicle too.
This morning I signed a document that brought a smile I could not contain to my face. I wanted to skip with elation to my vehicle. I felt like a big deal as I made my way from the building to my car. You don’t realize how numb or low you’ve been until you feel high and alive. Nothing beyond what should be the norm but when the norm has been dark and heavy, it’s certainly great to have the sun be like an embrace instead of being a blinding truth. The sun shines and people whistle. I am one of the whistling people today and I do not feel it is a fleeting thing.
Being on track after such a catastrophic derailment is a feeling beyond words.
Looking forward to a night out at the race track. Walking Dead slot machines. Gotta be lucky.
I’m tasting stability. Happiness, genuine happiness and contentment. I’m an Aries so it makes me want everything to be perfectly in order and shiny right now. One tiny taste and I want the whole buffet, now!! The voice of reason reminds me “You can’t move a mountain in a day”. I love that ‘voice’. Typically my inner Aries would be like “Oh yeah, dear Yoda…watch me move that damn mountain tomorrow!!!!” Not now. Not this time. Now, I’m just like yeah you’re right, I’ll just sit my old ass down for a bit instead cuz I won’t be moving anything if I burn out. Burn out is not an option…
Celebratory lunch with T. Smiles and giggles. Horoscopes that read like they were written just for me. I’m glad I’m here. Literally and figuratively. There were days where I may have wished I was not, where everything was just too much for me to deal with. When my heart is not handled properly, when I do not handle my heart properly, it’s easy to go to that place. I don’t want to be there. I want to be here. I am here…no looking back.
This blog is coming down. It has been therapeutic to write most of it. Some of it I wish I could keep writing. I will probably do so privately. There are things in my heart and on my mind that need to be locked away and shared only face to face; perhaps never to be shared. It’s hard not to write those things out, to hold back. Spell them out. And then some things are just better left unsaid. I’ve posted and then deleted stuff. Some stuff I have posted and it set my heart a pounding… Some stuff I have deleted after posting, feeling foolish and well, my Aries fire doesn’t help either…. And so I move from the blah, blah, blah to this:
This morning as I drove in to work I heard this song and I thought I want to post this in my blog, it spoke to me. It spoke to me, that’s all. I was listening to 88.5 Live, it’s the only connection I can make right now….
I love this song! Love love love!
And these onesthey play frequently on my iPhone, they have for years with the exception of the last one its new but I love to dance to it or run 😉 ….
Music is my escape!! Always has been. I’m either lost in the lyrics or moving to the beat. No one will ever make me turn off my music again. It’s what keeps my home alive, sparkling and connected. Never again!
Always a work in progress. Trust and fear they still present as obstacles some days. I’ll just keep conquering them and I will let romantic love in. It will come… I want it to.
Always alright…Ciao Bellas!!!