Work is a great thing. It provides predictability, familiar faces, and things to occupy and challenge the mind. So glad to get back to work.
My mentor takes me to lunch. Three weeks ago we sat in my driveway talking about the firefighter. I was getting some male perspective. I forget that he’s a romantic, so in assessing the situation I’ve presented, he offers: he may be falling for you but he does know how to handle it. Maybe he is scared? I respond with “Huh? Bien non.”
He buys me lunch. We have a totally different conversation. I describe what transpired and why I pulled out of things. Sorry, wait a minute. HE BUYS ME LUNCH and we’re just friends. I get to the part about window shopping on Match which elicits “Woah! Umm no. Whenever I’ve invested time in someone, I have shut those things down. No, no, no. You are like the Hiroshima bomb. When you detonate, all other women are cast aside.”
I did the hopeless romantic/delusional thing and disclosed that I would entertain a phone call expressing a full and whole hearted change of heart. “Ummm no. When you said you were pulling out was there a reaction?” He asks.
“Yes. Sorry to hear that. Thank you…”
“No, was there a reaction?” he insists. I ask him to clarify “Do you mean action?” “Yes. My English is not translating”
“There was no action. He let me go.”
“You don’t let someone like you walk away. His ex has clearly possessed him. She has reached inside him and has him intoxicated. Addicted. Plus they have a historique and children. He is under her spell. He will have to come out of it. You can’t prevail over that. No my dear, you must walk away. You allowed yourself to feel but don’t beat yourself up. 2018 is your time, your time to find you.”
Okay….It’s good to get male perspective even if he is a bit of a romantic. 😉
Not gonna lie, I had started to hope that maybe I was the antidote to his ex’s poison. But I’m not. Is there a part of me that would hope for a grand entrance on a fire truck that leads to the firefighter offering an apology in rhyme and verse (I hate rhyming sentiment but it’d get my attention and require effort)? Yeah, it’s there. We all want someone to fight for us.
Time will pass and so will this romantic lunacy. Haven’t been this girl in a while…not really a fan. But I’m a romantic. I’m strong, I’m independent but I’m a romantic.
On a brighter note, one of my colleagues asked me to join his ball hockey team with him and his wife. Team sports aren’t really my thing but sure why not? I kinda smell a matchmaking scheme but we’ll see. He knows I sweat profusely when faced with such things. 2018 making guy friends and female friends. First time since middle school due to controlling men. Ball hockey, who would’ve thought.
Back at 9 Rounds, boxing gloves on and energy to burn. Best part of the day besides coming home to a clean kitchen.
Tomorrow, I meet with a single mom friend to go over our everything awesome plan for 2018.
Tomorrow is a fresh start and good things are coming our way. We are going to make them happen.