Tag Archives: death and dying

Love and Fear

 

There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

This quote has been on my mind a lot the last several days. I have been trying to figure out what the quote was during this time and then questioning why it has bubbled to the surface. I found the quote this morning along with the article quoted below. I recognize the name of the woman associated with the quote above but again am not sure why, so I Google her.  She was a psychiatrist whose expertise was in the psychology of death and dying and conversely living… The 5 stages of grief…this is the lady. I have a degree in psychology and in education, perhaps this has subconsciously bubbled to the surface.

I would have been introduced to this lady through two very memorable courses the psychology of death and dying and the psychology of aging. I remember the rooms I took the courses in, some of the teaching aids used…they were poignant courses for me. I have a friend making the very stressful decision to divorce and I start thinking about the list of stressful life events a prof put up in death and dying…I’m certain it is in the top five.

Again, I Google… Divorce is #2 on the list and #1 is Death of a spouse….  Here I thought this quote was bubbling up because of my own fears expressed on some level in this blog.But I’m struck by 1 and 2 on the list and see clearly that the last several days and even month these two very significant life events have been on my mind a lot. A lot! I’m a little freaked out about this discovery.  Coincidence? It’s freaky given my conversations with my friend, my reflection on my own divorce in order to try to impart wisdom and offer support and then there is the man blog which has been part of my reading every single day for a month… Weird. So I’m sharing all of this stuff this morning why? Honestly…I’m at a loss for a profound statement here but I share regardless.

The list of stressful life events and their order can be found at this link:

http://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory/

As I search for the love and fear quote, I came across the article quoted below. It is a very, very interesting read….link to article follows quote…

“Numerous activities produce more oxytocin: meditation, yoga, exercise, massage, caring for a pet, joining a support group, worshiping, and so forth. Yet one of the most important avenues for decreasing stress and increasing levels of oxytocin lies in our intimate relationships. In Love & Survival, Dr. Dean Ornish points out that love and intimacy are such powerful determinants of health that if they were produced in pill form, doctors who failed to prescribe them for unhealthy patients would be guilty of malpractice.

Incidentally, one might wonder why we can’t just take oxytocin pills to increase levels of this helpful hormone. Unfortunately, oxytocin doesn’t cross the body’s “blood/brain barrier,” except in the form of nasal sprays. However, long-term administration of oxytocin via spray has resulted in amnesia, hallucinations and imbalances in electrolytes and hormones. To gain its benefits, we must either produce it naturally in the brain (or have it injected with great precision into a tiny area of the brain using special equipment…not terribly practical).

Oxytocin has been nicknamed the “bonding hormone” and the “cuddle hormone.” We produce it naturally when we love, are loved, nurture another, give selflessly, or engage in affectionate touch. It is not the neurochemical behind lust or burning sexual desire, although it is associated with sexual responsiveness.”

http://www.entelechyjournal.com/robinsonwilson.htm

There it is for whatever purpose…. Now finally unloaded from the forefront of my mind!

Always Alright,

Muah 💋